Honk If You Hate Big Oil Companies Protestors Exercising Irony At It’s Finest

Intersection of any Coffee Shop & Sushi Bar, America

Jobless man who doesn't understand anything about global economics parrots off something he heard at a coffee shop.

Jobless man who doesn’t understand anything about global economics parrots off something he heard at a coffee shop.

If you’re like me you love being parked at a busy intersection & seeing a bunch of jobless hippies yipping and yelling about some nonsense. Protests are pointless. The people protesting are always almost so uneducated & ignorant on the subject they’re protesting it’s staggering. For example, there was this very fat disgusting woman decked out in denim & she was pro conservation. If she really cared about conservation she’d probably eat a little less than say…, uh 18 combo meals a day. Just a thought. So she was pretty bad but I did see a guy holding a sign that said “Honk if You HATE BIG OIL”. He was my favorite.

First of all asshole, everyone in those vehicles with the horns are supporting BIG OIL! So they can circle the block a thousand times every day honking pointlessly to support your shared rage against BIG OIL but you’ll both be supporting them the entire time. I love it! I think it’s great when people exercise futility. Nothing brings me more pleasure than watching a hippie so passionate for something that they ignore all logic in the process. This is what this moron was doing. He was having an erection every time someone honked for him. Meanwhile, in an office made of gold a “BIG OIL EXEC” was having a larger erection. The difference was only one of those erections resulted in something worthwhile.

Russian Rainbow Gathering. Nezhitino, August 2005

Hippies like the one pictured above love playing guitars and doing nothing else productive all day.

I won’t ever understand the motivation or convictions people have for some cause that they decide the best way to further that cause is to protest. I love when you ask a hippie why don’t you just donate money or ride a bike. They always say “They are raising awareness.” You know what awareness is? It’s telling everyone they don’t know as much as you do. The problem is when you know nothing and you’re an idiot everyone knows more than you. So in fact, you’re reversing awareness. You’re just some uninformed redundant piece of crap. So I hope all you protestors out there enjoy your acts of futility. You will never make a “difference”. You’re more than likely going to just cause someone to have a car accident. In fact, you’re worse than texting & driving. Ya know what!? I’m going to go out to that corner & protest hippie protestors. That’s something I’d really be able to get behind!!!


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