In another case of mistaken identity several bumbling idiots were mistakenly identified by authorities as “terrorists”. The idiots were seen to have devised a plan & executed it flawlessly just like real terrorists would have. Local authorities with decades of experience had to be corrected by The White House last weekend.
“These bumbling buffoons who stumbled upon explosive devices & pretended to follow extreme Islamic views in order to act out violently are not terrorists.” White House Press Secretary Jay Carney commented today. “Just because it looks like a duck, walks like a duck & talks like a duck doesn’t mean it’s a duck.” He continued.
This latest act of premeditated imitation of terrorism is alarming to some. Among those concerned was local Bostonian Janice Smith, “I don’t know what to think. I mean you got all these people pretending to be terrorists, acting just like them, pretending to practice jihad. I don’t know what the President is going to do about this.” Some in the White House have been foggy on a plan of attack for this new problem until Jay Carney broke the news today. “The President has decided to create a new department of government. This new department is to be called ‘The Department of Homeland Security for those Pretending to be Terrorists.'”This department according to an official White House release will serve exactly as the Homeland Security Department does currently except it will specialize with only those people pretending to be terrorists. The Department is slated to come online immediately & will run tax payers an additional 680 Billion dollars over the next 6 months. “This is a small price to pay to ensure the safety of all Americans against this new threat of imposter like terrorist wannabe knock offs.” Commented President Obama.